Choosing Love.

Facts:  A marriage does not stand the test of time because two people are good looking.  It doesn't last because two people have a lot of money to do all the things they want to do.  A marriage doesn't thrive because two people have kids that are obedient and sleep through the night.  A relationship with your kids isn't 'good' because you buy them the latest stuff or sacrifice a job to be home with them.

A relationship will outlast all the rest when it is rooted in Christ.  I KNOW I got some eye rolls there because I used to be the biggest eye roller when it came to this; what does it even mean when a relationship is rooted in Christ? 

I used to think that if two people were believers, that was enough to sustain a marriage.  I found over time that it wasn't; my faith alone wasn't enough to stop me from saying the things that would hurt my husband the most, it wasn't enough to keep me from feeling unloved and unnoticed.  I used to think that being a 'good parent' meant taking my kids to church, staying home with my kids & providing their basic daily needs; I found that being a mom who talked about Jesus, but got annoyed or frustrated when my kids wanted to tell me a story or lost my temper when they weren't being 'good' showed them more about the conditions my love had than anything else.

Believing in Jesus is life altering and is the 'thing' that ignites my soul every day, but until our belief shapes the way we act, the way we think, and the way we treat other people, it's dead.  I'm not talking about loving your spouse because he got you flowers or washed the dishes or told you how beautiful you are; I'm talking about loving the spouse that didn't notice you did you hair and put on make up for him, forgets to say thank you when you work hard to make him breakfast, and leaves his dirty clothes in the corner of the bedroom.  I'm not talking about loving the child that cleans his room, does well in school, & is obedient; I'm talking about loving the child who has screamed all day, thrown food all over the floor, and had ANOTHER accident in his pants.

It's not hard to extend love to people who serve our desires or who give us the warm fuzzies and recognizing love as more than a feeling is a great place to start.  In John 3:16, we learn how MUCH God loves

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

in 1 John 3:16-18, we learn how God wants us to love.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.  If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?  Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

STOP talking about how much you love people and START showing it.  Love your kids?  Show them.  Sit with them, talk to them, be patient with them.  And when they drive you up a stinkin' wall, sit with them more, talk with them more, and be more patient.  Love your spouse?  Show him/her, too.  Sit next to him/her on the couch even when it's boring, ask him/her how the day was, buy him/her a cup of coffee (ALWAYS a safe bet).  And when he/she is being the absolute worst and is completely unlovable, lay it on harder.

Choose love.  Every day and even more on the hardest days.